40+ Hilarious Tweets From People That Explain Why They’re Single

Hilarious Tweets From People Who Explain Why They’re Single

Some people dread being single, while others thrive on the lack of a relationship. And in addition to a variety of feelings about their situation, there are a large number of reasons why people end up single in the first place. From falling in love with fictional characters to passing gas during a first date, we’ve compiled a list of tweets shared by single people explaining why they’re single, to begin with.

Happy as a Homebody

Homebodies are people who truly enjoy being at home. They also frequently enjoy solitude, and sometimes they’re introverted and shy. They’re people who simply don’t feel the need to be out and about very often.

Happy as a Homebody

There’s nothing wrong with being a homebody, but it doesn’t exactly put you in a lot of situations where you’ll find a partner. As this person said, you can’t expect your perfect someone to just show up at your front door unless you’re a Disney princess or something.

No Grown Man’s Mother

In sociology, the second shift refers to all the extra labor that many women take on when in a relationship or as a mother. They’re responsible for cleaning and keeping everyone in line — usually while maintaining a full-time job.

No Grown Man’s Mother

This seems like a pretty good reason to stay single! It sounds like this OP has had some bad experiences with having to do all of the work in past relationships. She deserves more than being a makeshift maid.

Clumsy Around Fragile Masculinity

The term ‘fragile masculinity’ is thrown around a lot. It refers to the anxiety some men feel when they do certain things that they believe don’t live up to society’s standards in terms of manhood and manly men.

Clumsy Around Fragile Masculinity

This is pretty clever, and it’s fair that someone wouldn’t want to date a guy who has serious insecurity issues when it comes to masculinity. It’s hard to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t comfortable in their own skin.

Autocorrect Gone Wrong

Our bodies change a lot throughout our lifetimes, and sometimes we have a hard time accepting it. It’s common to turn to a partner for reassurance that we still look good, and although we may not always like their response.

Autocorrect Gone Wrong

Talk about awkward! There was nothing worse that they could have said in that moment, except maybe a blatant, “Yes, you’ve gained weight.” Autocorrect — killing relationships since everyone began texting and stopped making phone calls.

Get the Heck Out

For most people, pets aren’t simply an animal; they become part of the family and are just as important as their human counterparts. So, there’s nothing worse than a new partner that isn’t accepting of these furry family members.

Get the Heck Out

What kind of cold, heartless person would think that suggesting this is normal or okay? Both we and the OP’s dog are thankful that she dumped the schmuck as quickly as possible. He doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship.

Fictional Men Are Better

Anyone who’s a voracious reader knows what it’s like to absolutely fall in love with a book. You’re transported into new, unique worlds with people who either make you shake your fists with rage — or perhaps make you feel some sort of way.

Fictional Men Are Better

Ah, the classic “I can’t find any men like the ones in books” dilemma. While her frustration with real-life men is understandable, one must eventually accept that real men are flawed, or just carry on in single bliss forever.

The Worst Kind of Match

We end relationships for any number of reasons. It could be that long-term plans simply don’t align. Maybe someone wants children while the other doesn’t. Sometimes, people simply discover they aren’t a good fit with time.

The Worst Kind of Match

Exes become exes for a reason, so it would definitely be worrying to see that you and a former fling are a perfect match on a dating website that you started using. The dating website may just see whatever she saw that attracted her to the person in the first place, but it doesn’t necessarily see all the flaws.

No Sense of Humor

A lot of relationships start with people bonding over a similar sense of humor. Laughing makes us happy, and knowing that someone is going to appreciate our jokes makes them instantly more attractive. So, what happens if they don’t get it?

No Sense of Humor

To be fair, what exactly was she supposed to say in this situation? It’s not like someone dropping beef on the ground next to you is a meet-cute. What she said was clever and funny. That dude just didn’t have a sense of humor.

Dogs Never Complain

Dogs make great pets because they’re loyal, they love without judgment, and they love seeing and spending time with their owners. They make any person feel good and special, which makes them great companions over finicky humans.

Dogs Never Complain

A lot of people out there prefer the company of pets over people, so this isn’t too surprising. They need to find someone else who also prefers the company of dogs, so they can live happily ever after, fawning over their pups together.

Probably Not Listening

When you’re in a relationship, there are some basic “services” that you need to provide your partner with. Things like supporting their hobbies, engaging with their friends and family, and active listening can make or break any relationship.

Probably Not Listening

Her tweet is funny, but we can definitely see how someone not listening to their partner could put enough strain on the relationship to cause a split. Hopefully, if this actually happened, she’s tried to make some changes instead of making light of the situation.

Some People Are Sore Losers

There’s nothing quite like partners in a relationship being able to bond over video games. They’re often seen as a men’s activity, but partners who play together stay together (okay, so maybe we just made that up).

Some People Are Sore Losers

Imagine being such a sore loser that you literally break up with your girlfriend because she’s better at a game than you are. It almost makes us hope that there were other issues that caused the break-up because it seems so ridiculous.

Tired of Interruptions

Being around other people is great, but sometimes we all just need some quiet time to recharge our batteries and do things we want to do without worrying about what other people think of us or our habits.

Tired of Interruptions

Some people just enjoy solitude, and that’s okay. The company of a pet is very different from the company of another human, so it’s not surprising that one could be preferable over the other, although sometimes cats interrupt more than humans!

Foul End to a Date

Passing gas, burping, and stinky armpits are all things we can’t control, yet other people find repulsive. It sucks to be judged during the times that our bodies have decidd to betray us, but it happens, like in this new relationship.

Foul End to a Date

It’s unfortunate that the beginnings of relationships are so fragile, but they just are, and such a foul smell upon opening the door is a very easy way to squash a burgeoning romantic connection. Someday they’ll find someone who doesn’t mind the stink.

Message Not Received

In a relationship where one partner is really into video games and the other isn’t, it can be tough to find a balance between letting that partner enjoy their hobby and not having it consume all of their free time.

Message Not Received

If she placed the note on the PS5, it’s probably because she knew it was a place he would see it. Perhaps he was so obsessed with playing PlayStation that he neglected their relationship, in which case it makes sense that she left.

Forever Reading Books

It’s important for adults to have hobbies, too. It could be yoga classes, video games, playing an instrument, or reading — but whatever it is, we all need something that we love doing in our spare time.

Forever Reading Books

Reading is great, but if you would rather do it than interact with other people, it may be worth looking into potential social anxiety. Everyone needs balance, so this person should consider spending more time in reality.

Feline Hide and Seek

Sometimes, when we enter a new relationship, our partner will have habits and interests that we just don’t understand or relate to. Other times, we’ll discover that something they love is something that we love too — like this person’s nightly hobby.

Feline Hide and Seek

Honestly, playing hide and seek with cats at night sounds very entertaining, and doing something so silly and playful with your partner would be a great way to keep a relationship fun! Someone get us this person’s phone number!

Don’t Want a Man Child

Men are often referred to as “manbabies” because so many of them struggle to do basic things to take care of themselves — like doing laundry properly, cooking quality meals, or cleaning beyond surface stains.

Don’t Want a Man Child

It’s worrying that more than one person has compared having a partner to raising a child. There must be a lot of adults out there who don’t know how to take care of themselves and rely on their partners too much.

Backup Prom Date

Prom is such a defining moment of our high school careers, and we often turn to dates to make our evenings memorable. When not in a relationship, finding a prom date can be an awkward process — just as this girl experienced.

Backup Prom Date

That guy deserved not to have a prom date after treating another friend that way. He wanted a date so badly that he didn’t think about how his behavior would affect other people. You shouldn’t yank people around like that.

No Netflix and Chill

As humans, we often have a morbid fascination with scary things, like ghosts and serial killers. Perhaps a side of our brain is just curious as to what could go on in someone’s head to cause them to act in such horrible ways.

No Netflix and Chill

We don’t really see how this is a reason to be single. A lot of people enjoy watching true crime shows and it’s actually a hobby many people bond over. Not to mention the fact that a lot of people don’t know much about their family’s background.

Supremely Cringy Misunderstandings

Here’s a challenge — think about a time that you misinterpreted someone’s intentions, especially a stranger, and did something so awkward that there was no coming back from it. We bet you have a distinct moment in mind, like Ann here does.

Supremely Cringy Misunderstandings

This is painfully cringy, to the point that it seems like one of those things you’d still think about and shake your head at several years later. It seems that this OP isn’t the best at reading the situation.

Starfishing Like Patrick

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A big benefit of being single is never having to worry about someone encroaching on your personal space. Some partners in a relationship just don’t understand when we need alone time or a bed to ourselves.

Starfishing Like Patrick

The starfish sleeping alone is a good reason to be single in our opinion. Sharing a bed can be uncomfortable and limiting. And no one wants to share their ice cream, really, so we understand that too. It’s too good to share.

On to the Next One

Ask any person on the street if they’ve been a rebound for someone else or if they’ve started their own rebound relationship, and they’ll likely tell you that they’ve done both. What if you’re not only a rebound but rather, also the one they always date before they get married?

On to the Next One

This is heartbreaking. Having this happen once or twice would already be strange, but seven times makes you wonder what you’re doing wrong. The thing is, it’s probably nothing you’re doing. It’s just really, really bad luck.

Her Royal Highness

One benefit of growing up is that it becomes more and more acceptable to simply be yourself, even if being yourself means hobbies or humor that other people would consider weird — like what you decide to name your pet.

Her Royal Highness

While that’s definitely a different (and excessively long) name for a cat, there’s got to be someone out there who would appreciate Erin’s sense of humor as well as her cat itself.

Random British Accents

Thanks to TV shows and movies, we get exposed to accents from different countries that we likely wouldn’t hear on a day-to-day basis. Since they’re foreign, some people become obsessed with them. British accents are a good example.

Random British Accents

This actually probably wouldn’t hinder her chance of finding love that much, because she definitely isn’t the first person to do this and won’t be the last. The real question is whether her fake accent is any good.

Lack of Allure

For some reason, society expects adults to give up most of their hobbies and interests — viewing things like animated movies, figurines, stuffed animals, and video games as childish and pointless. It’s like people are supposed to magically stop enjoying things when they turn 18.

Lack of Allure

Newsflash, society! Adults still love items that represent something they’re passionate about, like this person’s toy figurines and collectibles, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You’ll find a relationship that appreciates your interests someday, friend.

Wrong Table

We have to admit that it’s pretty easy to get the table wrong if you’ve just met the person. That being said, if the conversation was so great, you’d think the OP would realize that she was in the wrong place.

Wrong Table

At least before she started striking up the conversation again! Had she sat down at the wrong table and then realized her mistake immediately, this could’ve been salvaged. The fact that she needed her date to explain her mistake is what made her single.

What Does That Mean?

We respect the OP for wanting to warn her date about some of her flaws, and we understand the desire to do so in a lighthearted manner. However, the way that she went about it has us completely baffled!

What Does That Mean?

How was he supposed to understand what this meant? This poor guy was probably worried that he was on a date with someone in some sort of cult! Oh well, now she knows what not to do next time.

Achoo!

Truth be told, we don’t think this should be a reason that the OP is single. It’s more of a funny story that he and his date can tell their grandkids one day than it is an epic fail. We can’t always control our bodies and things like this happen sometimes.

Achoo!

While it’s not ideal, it’s certainly not a reason to miss out on a budding romantic connection. We think his date should’ve been more understanding, and he should have had more of a sense of humor about the whole thing.

Some People Just Can’t Park

Parking well is a skill that some drivers just never seem to develop. They take up two spots, park way outside the lines, or sometimes they even hit other vehicles in the process — like this person did while on a date.

Some People Just Can’t Park

Nothing screams “run away!” like someone acting so casually about getting into a car accident, even if it’s a minor one. “If he doesn’t leave his insurance number, go date another” would be an appropriate saying here, assuming this was a common enough occurrence to need a saying.

No Empathy Whatsoever

It’s pretty common for children to laugh at each other when someone gets hurt. We aren’t really sure what causes them to behave that way, but empathy for others isn’t always something kids are known for. You’d expect better out of adults, however.

No Empathy Whatsoever

Someone who can’t be bothered to care about your physical health is definitely not someone that you want to jump into a relationship with. Either he’s just not an empathetic person whatsoever, or the date was so bad that he just couldn’t wait to get out of there.

Long Live Bugle Finger Hats

Smearing glue all over your fingers just to peel it off, making a duck face out of Pringles, and using Bugles as finger hats are all things that we all do yet don’t seem to talk about.

Long Live Bugle Finger Hats

Anyone out there who doesn’t make Bugle finger hats are the ones in the wrong here — not this person. You can’t have a snack that looks so perfectly like a witch hat and not take advantage of it in the sake of a good laugh.

Full Custody of the Remote

Imagine this — you come home from a long day of work, and you’ve spent all afternoon dreaming about binging Gilmore Girls for the 17th time. But, you walk in to find your boyfriend watching football, refusing to hand over the remote.

Full Custody of the Remote

Arguing with a partner about who gets the TV, and when, is definitely one of the most frustrating aspects of being in a relationship. So, we can see how not having that fight would make being single worth it.

They Got Knocked Down

When “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba became a radio sensation, a lot of Americans learned that a certain word for using the toilet in American English did not in fact have the same significance in Australian English.

They Got Knocked Down

You may read this and think “Hey, “Tubthumping” is a great song and a concert is a nice date!” And while that may be true, have you ever actually listened to Chumbawamba’s other music? If not, do it now, and you’ll see why their relationship got knocked down.

Overprotective Pups in the Way

It’s normal to feel like our pets being protective of us is a good thing, and while it can be, some pets who are protective can end up becoming dangerous to those around us — especially people we’re affectionate towards.

Overprotective Pups in the Way

This seems funny and cute on the surface, but really, overprotective animals desperately need the training to teach them what behaviors are and aren’t okay. The fact that she emphasizes “at all costs” makes us worry her dog is aggressive.

Stuffed Animal Love

We all have different bedtime behaviors that others may consider weird. Some of us are scared to have our feet hang off the bed for fear of monsters. Other people sleep in really weird positions.

Stuffed Animal Love

It seems perfectly normal to us to want to cuddle something while sleeping. Getting comfortable in bed is all about comfort and security, and cuddling something soft like a stuffed animal or pillow is a great way to feel safe.

Kindergarten Love Story

Young children mimic what they see in the world around them, so it’s only natural for them to claim that they have a boyfriend or girlfriend and to give quick kisses to one another. It’s generally harmless behavior.

Kindergarten Love Story

Assuming she wants to have kissed someone since kindergarten, we’re sad for her that she was never able to do so. We’ll take it upon ourselves to help her hunt down Samson and make magic happen. Where are you at, Samson?!

Small-Town Troubles

Anyone who has lived in a small town knows how difficult it can be to find love. Your options are extremely limited, and people love to gossip about your any and every action, especially when it comes to dating.

Small-Town Troubles

Anyone who has lived in a small town also knows exactly where this person is coming from. If someone isn’t your cousin, then they dated your best friend at some point and are off limits, or they’re taken. There’s just no winning.

Quick to Say I Love You

As kids, it’s mortifying when we accidentally call one of our teachers mom or dad. Unfortunately for some people, that’s only the beginning of cringeworthy moments caused by having trouble thinking before speaking.

Quick to Say I Love You

Reading this, you want to laugh, but all you can do is cringe in horror at the fact that this guy has actually blurted out, “Goodnight, I love you” more than once. At least falling in love quickly will make it easier to find a relationship.

Busted Before the Blind Date

One of the downsides of the beginning of a relationship is that it’s impossible to know what kind of things, legal or not, that person is into. Some people are really good at hiding who they truly are.

Busted Before the Blind Date

That’s some serious bad luck, but at least it means that this person dodged a major bullet. It’s better to find out that someone is unfit to date sooner rather than later. They’ll find love someday (that is, if they want to).

Hard to Get or Want

When struggling to find love, it can be easy to get down on ourselves. It can make people feel undesirable or uninteresting, even if that isn’t actually the case.

Hard to Get or Want

This person needs to put some work into loving themselves, or if the behaviors that make them hard to want are actually problematic, then put some work into changing how they act. That would make a big difference.

No Grills for Dead Men

Losing a family member can be difficult, and everyone has different ways of coping. A common one is trying to look at things with humor and make jokes to alleviate some of the pain the loss causes.

No Grills for Dead Men

What about this response is bad enough to make this person stay single? Perhaps it was the way that they delivered the line, or perhaps the other person just didn’t find any humor in it. It doesn’t seem like enough to ruin a date.

Christmas Music All Year Round

The Christmas season is a time for joy and love and music and presents. But, what happens when some people become so obsessed with the holiday season and its music that they extend Christmas beyond the acceptable time limits?

Christmas Music All Year Round

Listening to Christmas music all year sounds like something out of nightmares. Sure, it’s tolerable during the winter season as everyone is feeling festive, but no one wants to hear Mariah Carey blasting in July.

Doing the Robot to Beyonce

Prom is a time of raging teen hormones, poofy dresses that teens will shake their heads at when they’re older, and lots of nerves around what dates and classmates will think.

Doing the Robot to Beyonce

Let’s be real, here — no one is a good dancer at that age, and prom isn’t a great environment for those who do actually know how to dance. Most teens just bob around awkwardly, so doing the robot to Beyoncé wouldn’t have actually stood out that much.

Strapped for Cash and Love

Many difficulties plague adults. They have a lot of things that they’re responsible for, and misfortune can snowball, making more than one aspect of their lives difficult — including being in a relationship.

Strapped for Cash and Love

This is unfortunately a perfect combination to kill a budding relationship. It’s hard to go on dates without a functioning vehicle, and it’s hard to pay for them without a job. Hopefully, this person’s situation has improved since then, both his well-being and his search for a partner.

He Wasn’t a Winner

Now that most people only watch streaming platforms, we miss out on television commercials. And while that seems great, one type of commercial we’re missing out on is movie trailers. Luckily, theater-goers do have a chance to see lots of trailers and previews.

He Wasn’t a Winner

The OP honestly seems like the problem here — not the guy who was simply excited about new movies coming out. A lot of people chit-chat during the previews. As long as he was quiet during the film, there’s no issue.

Some Things Aren’t Jokes

It’s tough to navigate the waters of interacting with ex-boyfriends or girlfriends. It’s common to cut them off completely, but sometimes people stay in touch and even rekindle old flames — unless one person doesn’t take the other seriously, that is.

Some Things Aren’t Jokes

To be fair, if he was her ex, it was probably for a reason. So, it wasn’t like she necessarily would have wanted to get back into that relationship. If she did, though, then she definitely ruined her chances with her reaction.

No Love for Cheese Haters

Cheese should be a food group on its own. It’s delicious and we all love to pretend that it’s nutritious and really good for us. Yet there are some crazy people out there who don’t enjoy this yellow deliciousness.

No Love for Cheese Haters

She’s right– it’s definitely the cheese that’s turning away potential partners. They’ll never be able to go with her to a fondue restaurant or enjoy a charcuterie board. It’s a foodie’s worst nightmare. Maybe she just needs to look for someone who’s lactose intolerant.

That’s What She Said

Friends, The Office, and Seinfield are just a few sitcom classics that have almost cult-like followings. People who love these shows can reference specific episodes or moments as if their lives depended on it.

That’s What She Said

There are definitely people out there who would love nothing more than to pass the time throwing around quotes with this person and snuggling on the sofa watching episode after episode. They’ll find someone who fears how much they love them someday.

40+ Women Are Sharing the Worst Dating App Fails That They’ve Experienced, & They’re So Bad

Women Share Dating App Fails

The dating world nowadays looks a lot different than it used to. We’ve gone from courtship to meet-cutes in bars, from dating websites to swiping right on apps that aren’t necessarily used for their intended purpose. From bad pick-up lines to raunchy questions, we’ve compiled a list of the worst dating app fails that women have had the misfortune to experience.

A Weird Way of Mourning

Losing a beloved pet is one of the most difficult things animal lovers can go through. Although they can’t speak to us, pets become a member of our family, brightening our days and our lives — until one day, they’re gone.

A Weird Way of Mourning

What on Earth made him think that sending this message, especially nearly half a day later, was appropriate? It just shows that he was never actually serious about building a connection with the person he’s messaging. Bet he received a swift block.

A Little Too Honest

Creating your bio on a dating app is intimidating. You have to try to sum up what makes you interesting in a very small amount of words, and also make it unique enough that you stand out amongst the thousands of people doing the same thing.

A Little Too Honest

Some people take more…creative approaches, and we have to say, it did not pay off here. Calling yourself white trash is already enough to make girls cringe, but that pick-up line scores a -1/10 on our quality scale.

An Old Acquaintance

Most phone number exchanges have an expiration date. If the people don’t contact each other within a certain amount of time or the conversation dies off for too long, that’s the end of things… usually.

An Old Acquaintance

Not if you’re this guy, though. Sounds like he wasn’t all there the last time they saw each other. Never, ever ask someone to be your backup plan. No one appreciates being a backup.

The Most Creative Rejection

Some people seem to think that the term “dating app” actually means “hookup app,” and try to use it as such. What they don’t realize is that propositioning random people on an app rarely, if ever, works. Still, they keep trying.

The Most Creative Rejection

If you don’t have a sense of humor about these unwanted messages, they can drive you crazy. So instead, some people are getting creative with their rejections, like this girl. It’s like a great anti-pick-up line.

An Irrelevant Simile

People have different preferences when it comes to dating. Some like tall people, others prefer someone shorter than them. Then, there are those that have preferences when it comes to age, like preferring someone older — or in this case, younger.

An Irrelevant Simile

“Most of you will swipe left” sounds like those silly viral Facebook posts that say something like, “Most people will just scroll past this instead of sharing.” It doesn’t work on Facebook and it won’t work for you, Pete.

Heartbroken & Lacking Security

While some people say that honesty is the best policy, they also say all things in moderation — and that applies to honesty, too. You don’t want to be dishonest in your dating bio, but you don’t want to intentionally make yourself sound bad either.

Heartbroken & Lacking Security

He might have found someone sympathetic to his sad situation, until he added the last line. It’s gross and fetishizing, and we doubt anyone would swipe right after reading this kind of bio.

Time to Move On

Most of us probably didn’t anticipate living through a global pandemic and are happy to finally start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Some have seen that light sooner than others, however, which can cause some uncomfortable moments.

Time to Move On

Instead of just respecting the fact that she doesn’t feel comfortable, he pushed and then criticized her worries, throwing in a sarcastic “sweetie” at the end. It’s not exactly the best way to convince someone to hang out.

A Clever Comeback

Women on dating apps receive all sorts of creepy messages, and oftentimes, they’re within the first few messages exchanged with a new match. It can be really frustrating when trying to find genuine connections.

A Clever Comeback

We commend this girl for responding with a very clever comeback that politely tells Tanner, “Go away, not interested.” Who sends something like this as their very first message to a match? Not someone who has a very high success rate, clearly. Better luck on the next match, Tanner.

Perfectly Reasonable Demand

The internet is great in that it gives us the opportunity to make connections with people that we may have never met otherwise. Still, with the anonymity of the internet comes potential danger, so women need to be extra careful.

Perfectly Reasonable Demand

If he wasn’t a creeper, he wouldn’t be so worried about how perfectly normal it is to want to meet someone in public the first time you’re meeting them. The fact that he feels uncomfortable makes us think he’s got something to hide!

Meetup or Hookup?

Anyone on a dating app who asks if a girl does meetups is actually asking if she’s willing to hook up with a random person. Considering that it’s a dating app, the answer from most girls is no.

Meetup or Hookup?

The follow-up message here was completely unnecessary. How is someone even supposed to respond to that when they already made it clear they didn’t want to meet up? It does nothing aside from making the woman uncomfortable.

Someone Is a Woman Hater

Some guys seem to really have it out for women. Maybe they’ve been scorned in the past, or perhaps they’ve just been really unlucky. Whatever it is, though, it makes them feel the need to lash out and blame their misfortune on others.

Someone Is a Woman Hater

This “About Me” makes it really hard to believe that the guy is a “good, kind-hearted man.” It sounds like he’s someone who has convinced himself he’s a nice guy, and nothing is ever his fault.

I’m Hot in Person

Remember when parents would tell their little girls that the boy on the playground is picking on them because he likes them? Well, it’s not true — but some of those little boys grew up to believe insults were the way to a girl’s heart.

I’m Hot in Person

Her response was a little petty, but to be fair, there’s no way he thought that opening message was a good idea. Blonde girls are sick and tired of being mocked for being blonde. It’s a joke that should have been retired a long, long time ago.

Poured His Heart Out

Some people think size matters when it comes to the bedroom, and others find other things more important. But, one thing’s for sure — guys feel a lot of pressure to be a certain size, and so, many lie or exaggerate.

Poured His Heart Out

It’d be nice to know what other messages he sent, because going on about his size doesn’t really count as pouring his heart out. It’s more like attempting to brag and failing. We don’t see how that’s romantic nor a true connection.

I Had a Girlfriend

There’s a seedy side of dating apps, where people who are already in a relationship attempt to find someone to see on the side. Sometimes, the other girl/guy never finds out — but other times, they do.

I Had a Girlfriend

One has to wonder how much time had passed between his time with Jessica and this message, and whether or not he’s still with the girlfriend. We aren’t sure how telling her all this time later equates to respecting your girlfriend.

Disqualified From Many Women

There are a lot of stereotypes floating around about what women want in a partner. A lot of guys seem convinced that women only go for emotionally abusive “bad boys,” and that that’s why they haven’t had any luck in dating.

Disqualified From Many Women

Has this guy considered that maybe he’s the problem here? He refuses to recognize a global pandemic, he doesn’t know what he’s looking for, and he already has kids. It sounds like he comes with baggage.

Compliment or Not

Some guys seem to have really nailed down how to give backhanded compliments. These are compliments that aren’t really compliments, but rather thinly-veiled insults. Take Clayton here as a good example of what not to say.

Compliment or Not

We aren’t even sure what his goal is here. He says something weird, then something rude, and then is surprised when the girl is fed up. How is “half a compliment” a good thing? And then, he gives another backhanded compliment. Talk about mixed signals!

Tales of a Drama Queen

Men like to pretend that women are dramatic and difficult to understand, but women are no more so than men. Many men throw fits, lash out, and struggle to control their emotions. Society is partly to blame for that.

Tales of a Drama Queen

This guy is a great example. Using an overdramatic message just to get someone to respond to you instead of genuinely trying to start an interesting conversation is pretty sad. Hopefully, she didn’t bother responding to his last message.

We Vibin’ Baby

We all come with baggage. There isn’t a single person out there who doesn’t have some sort of bad past relationship, physical ailment, or emotional ailment that they bring to a relationship. What matters is how we handle ourselves.

We Vibin’ Baby

This is a lot of baggage that raises quite a few questions. There’s nothing wrong with some of it, but a potential mate is definitely going to want to know why two exes have filed police reports against them. Also, crystal therapy? Really?

I Can Wear a Mask

It’s pretty common for women to be propositioned on dating apps. While it can be annoying when someone is looking for an actual partner, there’s nothing wrong if a woman decides she’s actually interested in the proposition.

I Can Wear a Mask

It sounds like she may have been here, but she was understandably nervous about the pandemic. We have to admit that his response was pretty funny and can’t help but wonder if she agreed that the mask was enough of a precaution.

The Perfect Poem

Due to the sheer amount of connections made on dating apps, it can be really important to be creative with the opening messages you send to people you’re interested in. Some people even come up with poems, although they may be inappropriate.

The Perfect Poem

We love that instead of ignoring him or reacting with anger, she played the same game. It takes wit and skill to respond in such a way. We think she’s perfect, too. Gregory doesn’t even stand a chance.

Wife Gets Revenge

The problem with using the internet and dating apps to cheat is that you leave a very visible trail. Not that we are condoning cheating, but those who do it on apps like Tinder must recognize the risk in what they’re doing.

Wife Gets Revenge

We have a sneaking suspicion that he didn’t write this himself. It sounds like he’s definitely foolish and deserves that trip to divorce court. At least writing this may have given his wife a little bit of satisfaction.

Someone Missed the Joke

There are certain songs that have become karaoke classics. They are those songs that, should they come on the radio, you cringe and change the channel — but when heard in a bar after a couple of drinks, you belt the lyrics with the rest of the crowd.

Someone Missed the Joke

It seems that this guy hasn’t gone to a lot of karaoke places, or more likely, he lives under a rock. It’s hard to imagine that there are people in the world who don’t recognize the lyrics to “Don’t Stop Believin'”.

Didn’t Understand the Assignment

Bumble, one of the many dating apps out there today, is known for being a bit different in that women make the first move. It gives the ladies a little more control over their interactions on the app and motivates them to get creative.

Didn’t Understand the Assignment

This poor gal just tried to ask an interesting question as a way to start the conversation and got way more than she bargained for from Alex. He took it as an opportunity to brag about his supposed experiences rather than actually answering the question.

The Flavor of Youth

Age is a big factor in choosing a partner. We usually want someone within a few years of us, as the bigger the age gap, the more challenging it’ll be. But, some guys only like younger ladies.

The Flavor of Youth

What kind of man sees women as having an expiration date? He’s going to be one of the men in his 60s still determined to date women half his age, which is very slimy. We hope she blocked him after this interaction.

Garfield Loves Lasagna

After you scroll through a certain amount of dating profiles, they all start to blur together. So, it’s great when people make an effort to produce something creative or funny to catch people’s attention and stop them from swiping left.

Garfield Loves Lasagna

This guy took it a little too far, as eating lasagna off of someone’s chest is 100% weird. You can’t look for something that weird in a girl, yet ask for no weirdos. Something just doesn’t add up there, Mark.

Don’t Want No Scrubs

TLC “don’t want no scrubs,” and neither do girls on Bumble. A scrub is a guy who thinks he’s fly, but he also mooches off of those around him. This girl thought she was getting a date but was instead asked to be a last-minute free Uber driver.

Don’t Want No Scrubs

In no world is this acceptable — asking someone to drive five hours for you when they don’t even know you. It’s made worse by him trying to guilt trip her and imply she isn’t a spontaneous person.

Took the Joke Too Far

Most of us are tired of making small talk with others, especially with someone we’re interested in. Asking about jobs and hobbies is boring and tedious. So instead, people come up with creative questions to spark new conversations.

Took the Joke Too Far

Andy was doing so well here. Why did he have to ruin it? He did recognize that he took the joke too far, but it was too late at that point. Next time, he’ll be smarter about not ruining what could have been a good thing.

What Exactly Is Happening?

We aren’t sure when people started writing things like *shrug* in messages to indicate physical actions, but every single time, it’s unnecessary and cringy. Yes, messaging lacks the physical side of communication, but writing it out just doesn’t work.

What Exactly Is Happening?

How did he want her to respond within this exchange? How does one respond to a pretend stutter, hello in Japanese (for some reason), and then whatever that mess is afterwards? No wonder she was confused.

Looking for Pokémon

Online dating is exhausting — and after so many cringy, boring, or gross interactions, some people simply give up on the prospect of finding what they’re looking for on platforms like Tinder and Bumble. But, it doesn’t mean they can’t continue to have fun with it.

Looking for Pokémon

At least he got right to the point, and he asked her what she was looking for in a respectful, direct way. Someone probably needs to tell her she’s opened up the wrong app, though. Pokémon Go is what she’s looking for.

The Best Type of Eggs

Eggs are a classic breakfast food. They’re nutritious, they’re versatile, and there are so many ways to prepare them. So, when this guy opened with a cute breakfast question, he probably wasn’t expecting the response he got.

The Best Type of Eggs

Her answer is pretty funny, but it also took a cute question in a very awkward direction. She’s probably just so used to inappropriate messages that she automatically took it to a place he hadn’t.

He Almost Had It

You can only learn so much about a person from a messaging conversation. It’s easy to pretend to be funnier or more outgoing than you really are, because you have plenty of time to think out responses. So, video chats are a natural next step in the online dating world.

He Almost Had It

He obviously was interesting enough for her to agree to a video chat with him, but then he had to make it gross, and his follow-up messages just made it even more awkward. It’s safe to say that she shut it down right away.

Best a Man Can Get

Pick-up lines are a weird phenomenon in that they’re super common yet they hardly ever work. At best, they provoke an awkward laugh — and at worst, they cause the receiver to cringe away in horror.

Best a Man Can Get

It’s nice that Adam appreciated her response, but it’s also sad that he’s obviously used this cheesy line on more than one person. Step up your game if you want results, Adam. The girls you reach out to deserve more effort than that.

Proud Fur Baby Daddy

More and more people these days are choosing not to have children. There are a lot of different reasons one may make that decision, and one such reason is that some people simply prefer animals to humans. These people often refer to their pets as their “fur babies.”

Proud Fur Baby Daddy

His message wouldn’t have been that bad if he didn’t include the creepy bit about kissing her cheek. Maybe he’s from a place where that’s how people greet each other, but it comes across really weird when written out in a message.

Down in the Woods

Since life has shifted more and more towards cities and suburban areas, the popularity of going camping has slowly risen. More and more people use it as a way to reconnect with nature and spend time away from artificial lights and air pollution.

Down in the Woods

Why must the guys make things weird every single time? Instead of having a nice conversation about camping, she’s now rolling her eyes and fully cringing.

Way Too Picky

We all know picky people. Some refuse to eat most foods, or wear certain clothes — and then there are those who find every little thing wrong with a potential partner. Our 25-year-old friend here falls into the latter category.

Way Too Picky

Where do we even start with this one? Not only is he controlling about how his partner should look, but also about their personality! He could be the hottest person on Earth (which is doubtful) and he still has no right to make these demands.

Neither and Also Not You

We’re all for starting the conversation with a unique opening line. However, there’s a reason that certain pickup lines are so unusual — because they shouldn’t be used at all. Even a boring old, “Hey, what’s up?” would’ve been better than this!

Neither and Also Not You

There’s something to be said for an overused, conventional way of starting a conversation. When trying to think outside the box, always remember to ask yourself if maybe the box isn’t so bad after all.

Expiration Date

Did this guy really think he could take his date up on her offer at any point in time? Would he have asked a week later? A month later? Or maybe even have her pay for his next date?! It’s pretty obvious that her offer didn’t stand forever.

Expiration Date

Even if it did, she was just being polite. Well, it looks like chivalry truly is dead. Not only did this dude want to split the bill, but he was keeping tabs on how much this woman “owed” him.

No One Asked

Some people have such overblown egos that they’re convinced everyone wants to be with them. That thought process will often lead such a person to reject someone who never even asked them out in the first place!

No One Asked

That’s exactly what happened here when this individual’s opening line was to turn down the OP — who hadn’t messaged them at all. Our favorite part is that this guy then tried to hit on the OP anyway. Maybe this was his way of getting the OP to desire what they can’t have?

Answering a Question With a Question

This guy couldn’t even be bothered to answer the OP’s question! Nope, he wanted to cut right to the chase and get his question answered first. Clearly, he felt that his inquiry was more important and couldn’t possibly wait.

Answering a Question With a Question

Ironically, if the OP wasn’t looking for anything serious, this guy may have gotten the answer he wanted if he’d just had some polite conversation first. Now, he’s going to be stuck with just his hockey stick to keep him company.

What’s the Goal Here?

We’re very confused as to what Bret’s trying to achieve with this dating profile. Does he want a sugar daddy or does he want subscribers for his YouTube channel? Or perhaps he’s searching for a sugar daddy who’ll buy him subscribers for his channel?

What’s the Goal Here?

Also, what’s with the name dropping? If people care so much about Nikita, they’ll just subscribe to her channel. Sorry, Bret — but you need to work on your marketing skills and decide on a clear message!

Save it for Your Diary

We’re very happy for this guy that he had such a great time but that’s really not something you share with someone on a dating app. Would he like to hear all about the OP’s amazing experiences with other men?

Save it for Your Diary

Furthermore, we don’t actually believe that his story happened. We admit that it’s possible he’s telling the truth. However, it’s a lot more probable that he’s just trying to make himself sound desirable by pretending he’s wanted by tons of women.

Words?

It seems like texting has just gotten lazier and lazier over the years. There was once a time when people would message each other thought-out and grammatically-correct sentences. Then, we kind of all gave up on the grammar and went for partial sentences that were to the point.

Words?

Somewhere in there, emojis replaced expressing one’s emotions. Now, apparently, it’s socially acceptable to request intimacy with two emojis and a question mark. How much thought do you think went into that message?

Let’s Not

This guy seems to think that liking someone’s photos can replace an actual conversation. He even blatantly ignored the OP’s question just so he could ask his own instead! He didn’t even propose it as a question, really.

Let’s Not

He just stated what he wanted and arrogantly assumed that the OP would want the same. After all, he did like her pictures! We think it’s safe to say that chivalry is dead with this one.

Career Advice

This person seems to have confused dating apps with career counseling. For some reason, he thinks that the OP is interested in hearing his career advice and judgments.

Career Advice

Luckily for those who turn to dating apps for career help (so, no one), this guy has plenty of pretentious and obnoxious advice to give. We bet the OP just couldn’t wait to go on a date with this dude to hear more of his conspiracy theories!

Honest Advertising

We’re all for being open and honest with a prospective partner. After all, you can’t base a relationship on lies. That being said, there’s such a thing as too much openness and honesty.

Honest Advertising

Perhaps this particular piece of information was something that he could’ve let the OP find out on her own — if she chose to do so. We appreciate this guy being realistic about what he’s working with but maybe it doesn’t need to be his opening line.

Bringing Negging Back

This is a classic example of negging. For those who don’t know what that is, UrbanDictionary.com defines negging as, “Low-grade insults meant to undermine the self-confidence of a woman so she might be more vulnerable to your advances.”

Bringing Negging Back

Negging is often disguised as a compliment, so the guy still appears to be nice. It was a really popular pickup method in the earlier 2000s but we’ve since evolved as a society. Or, so we thought.

Call the Cops

We feel that this message requires a lot more context. Does he mean that he saw her profile on the app yesterday? That’s fine. Do they know each other in real life and he’s laughing at the fact that they’re now matched on the app? That’s also okay.

Call the Cops

Or is he camped outside her house with a bucket of popcorn, watching her every move? Yeah, if that’s the case, she needs to call the cops. This is why context is so important — especially when it comes to first messages.

Monolingual

We’re not trying to shame anyone for not being geniuses or anything but this is really crossing a line. This guy’s never heard of Australia?! If he’s old enough to be on a dating app, then he’s old enough to have gone through some basic schooling.

Monolingual

We’re not even asking him to point to Australia on a map (something that not everyone can do) — we just want him to know that they speak English there. Really, the bar couldn’t be any lower.

We Wonder Why

It’s not exactly surprising that this guy’s engagement didn’t last — we’re just happy for his fiancée that she ended things before the wedding. We wonder how many women he posed this question to and if any of them actually said yes.

We Wonder Why

Well, it looks like this man’s going back out into the dating world, making the current pool of eligible bachelors all that less desirable. Is it too late to just become a cat lady?

That’s How Horror Movies Start

We appreciate this guy’s love for adventure and spontaneity but does he really think that a woman who doesn’t know him is about to get in his car for a “long” drive? Of all the activities he could’ve offered, that’s what he chose to go with?

That’s How Horror Movies Start

Where does that drive even lead to?! The woods, where there’s a cult of Chads waiting? Yeah, no thanks. We’ve seen enough horror movies to know how those types of car rides end.

How to Calm Down a Stray

Oh wow, let’s list the problems here one by one, shall we? First, this guy announced to poor Maddie that he was coming to her house, he didn’t actually ask.

How to Calm Down a Stray

Then, he got angry and insulted the person he messaged as if it was their fault that he had the wrong number. Lastly, he immediately relaxed once he realized he was talking to a man. Well, at least we now know how to calm down a stray.

Accept the Red Flags

Actual, physical red flags are used in many different situations to indicate that some sort of danger is present. So, it isn’t surprising that “red flag” has been adopted to describe a person’s traits that are cause for concern.

Accept the Red Flags

The fact that he got mad at the OP for not responding on Thanksgiving, and then proceeded to send her a whole weird rant means that she absolutely dodged a bullet. Ironically, his red flag rant is a major red flag!

The Perfect Woman

It’s good to think about what we do and don’t want in a partner. Knowing what qualities we value and which ones turn us off is really important for filtering out people who don’t fit the bill.

The Perfect Woman

It’s a bit hypocritical that the girl must respond quickly, yet he can reply whenever he wants to. We also wonder what he’s going to do exactly when she needs to take her makeup off. Will he refuse to look at her?

Begging to Get Fired

It’s really important in many industries not to mix your work and personal lives. You have to maintain a degree of professionalism in order to avoid giving your company a bad image. Chris seems to have forgotten that.

Begging to Get Fired

If this makes its way to his boss — which is very likely thanks to the internet — there’s no way Chris will still have a job. We also doubt anyone wants to hook up in the back of a garbage truck.

Some Fun Deal-Breakers

Most people have deal-breakers when it comes to their future partners and who they choose to spend their lives with. A common example is one partner wanting kids, while the other doesn’t.

Some Fun Deal-Breakers

This guy’s list of deal-breakers is longer than his personal bio! And they’re such petty, silly things too. He sounds like the kind of guy who will look for any minor excuse to break things off with a girl. Steer clear, ladies.

Solomon Never Met You

Sometimes, people use dating apps like Tinder to create fake profiles. In some cases, it’s catfishing — but in others, they simply do it to amuse themselves and the people they interact with. This is a great example.

Solomon Never Met You

We bet Gale didn’t expect to find the Messiah while casually swiping one day, yet that’s exactly what happened. It’s cool to see that he has gotten with the times and is putting himself out there. Everyone deserves love!